Pew Research Center — Key findings about online dating in the U.S.

What the study found

Pew Research Center's 2023 review of online dating in the U.S. found that men and women reported markedly different frustrations with dating sites and apps. Among those who had used them in the past year, 64 percent of men said they felt insecure because of how few messages they received, while 54 percent of women said they felt overwhelmed by how many they got — a feeling shared by only about a quarter of men. Men were also more likely than women to have paid to use these sites and apps, 41 percent versus 29 percent. ^[1]

Why it matters here

These survey figures speak directly to the manosphere argument that online dating is rigged against men. They document a genuinely gendered experience: men are far more likely to feel they receive too little interest, while women more often feel inundated by messages. That asymmetry is real, and it helps explain why the grievance resonates. At the same time, the same data show the imbalance runs in both directions rather than describing a system built to disadvantage men.